Curating Our Identity (the WHOLE Identity)

Renz In The Woods - An Older Gay Male Take On The World

As human beings we spend our lives curating our “identity” which is a fluid process that involves evaluating cultural norms and expectations and CHOOSING what fits and what doesn’t and then reevaluating as we grow and develop. It is made up of a plethora of concepts…are we to be assertive or accommodating, what food to we eat, what books do we read, what activities do we participate in, what clothes do we wear, do we join in to fads and trends or do we buck them, are we feminine and to what degree, are we masculine in other ways. There is no stand alone inherent “gender identity” and that is the crux of our problem these days. That which is being called gender is merely a part of the overall process of managing our overall identity.

What then does that mean? It means that some men choose to portray themselves as if they were women. Historically this was in response to a very rare mental illness that was labeled gender dysphoria, essentially an emotional rejection of one’s sex and the cultural norms commonly ascribed to that sex. In no way does it mean someone has been born in the wrong body. Trans Women are Trans Women (a subset of males).

I for one am not calling for a “pogrom” against trans identified adults. I am rejecting the false belief that “Trans women are women” and “Trans men are men.”

I also reject “non binary” as anything but a made up label to claim membership in the “Queer Cool Kids” club. We are ALL “non binary” in that our identities are made up of combinations of culturally masculine and female traits, and those cultural expectations are not biologically based either. There are shifting cultural expectations and stereotypes that fall into the categories of masculinity and femininity. However, we ALL sort through these and apply them to ourselves (as part of our current identity) as we embody our biological sex. We used to just say androgynous.

However, our sex is a fact. Don’t start tossing around the mere existence of a tiny group of misnamed “intersex” biological anomalies either. Nearly all of them are identified as male or female with mutations that created extra nonfunctional cross sex parts. That Algerian boxer, for example, is a biological male with a condition that prevented the complete development of his external male sex organs. Yes, HE was declared a female because what good is a man without a penis, especially in Algerian culture and so the athlete believes he is a female but his musculature, his jawline, his strength all demonstrate the biological reality.

Gender activists want so badly to say there’s no such thing as up or down, left or right, north or south…that it’s all just a matter of perspective. No. Individuals can shape their lives how they choose. They can believe what they wish. They cannot force the rest of us to join them in their delusions.

Shakespeare touched on this idea in Taming of the Shrew when Katerina was forced to humble herself to Petrucchio and agree that the sun was the moon.

And, further more, those who claim that transgender individuals have been around for millennia are wrong. Gender nonconformity has existed in all cultures throughout history. The current trans agenda is merely one way to respond to some gender nonconformity. Trans behavior is always a form of gender nonconformity, but most gender nonconformity is not trans. Think squares and rectangles. The error being made is for one culture to push the false narrative that gender nonconformity = trans. As an older gay man, I am very much gender nonconforming, but I am not remotely trans.